You don't need approval from others!

''What will you have after psychology?'' - said my dad.

He wanted me to become a doctor, a dentist or a lawyer... you know, something that will bring me money.

So I was studying chemistry, because it was easy for me. It was prestigious and could offer me a great future.

On the end, when it was time to submit my thesis, I supposed to do 160 unpaid practise hours. I could not afford to take the time off and do not work for the whole month only to be able to complete 1 month of the practise work, which was necessary to finish any university of technology in Poland. I also realized that I didn’t even enjoy all of that work in laboratory and that it’s not something I wanted to do.

So I left.

I’ve wasted many months working hard to earn the money to pay for that study (to study over the weekends in Poland is very expensive).   

It’s quite early when you need to choose the university...

I wasn’t trusting my own decisions or following my heart. I was seeking for other people’s approval.

My dad is an amazing person, but he didn’t have a clue that I didn’t value myself enough to decide for myself. I wasn’t even clearly communicating what I wanted and what was important to me.

So most of my life I was following my dad’s beliefs that I need to work hard and be independent to be successful. And I was. In any job I’ve had, I was performing better than expected and always progressing. I achieved more than my peers. I was easily gaining new knowledge, new skills and climbing the career ladder.

But It was never enough.

I wasn’t happy.

I didn’t feel like my work matters enough.

Depression and a complete break down helped me to start from the beginning and specify clearly what matters to me and what I want.

That’s when I started working with children and helping others. That’s when I started studying coaching and counselling. And that’s when I started telling my dad, my partner and my friends what do I want from life and what matters to me. I started communicating honestly with everyone.

I want to contribute, make a difference and help others.

I want my work to be meaningful. I want to enjoy every day instead of waiting for the weekends.

I’ve got it now. And I want to make sure that more people and more children trust themselves and follow their heart.

You can help your children to follow their dreams too.

Remember, that as a teenegers we haven’t got our beliefs and values stabilized yet, that we look out for others. That we take our parent’s beliefs and use us ours. Help your children have their own values. Show the interest of what it is that brings them joy, how they want to feel, who they want to become, what they want to create.

And if you have some unfulfilled needs - don’t pass it over to your children.

It is never too late for you to start doing what you love!

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© 2018 by Wioleta Wydrych