3 simple steps to get out of your own way and create a mindset for success

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve,” Napoleon Hill

How much more could you achieve if you wasn't holding yourself back? How your life would look like if you could trust yourself, believe in yourself and follow your dreams?

You may feel like you're doing everything you can to create your meaningful life but you're not seeing any results yet, so you're getting frustrated... Maybe you tried so many things to ''think positive'' that you're very sceptical now if anything will actually work for you. You may already noticed that you are your own worst enemy and in order to succeed you need to get out of your own way.

Despite all the knowledge you have you may find it very difficult to control your mind...

I've been there. I hated myself. I hated my life... I knew my attitude sucks! And I knew I need to do something about it in order to succeed.

I wanted to become a coach, but my thoughts when I started my coaching diploma were like ''is this a scam?'', ''it is not possible do what I love and earn money in the same time'', ''where is the catch'', ''my English is not good enough anyway...''

Sounds familiar? Oh yes, we are great in supporting our dreams!

I would never succeed, I wouldn't be were I am now If I didn't implement these 3 simple rules into my life:

1. Let go of your past

Oh, yes, I know, I just reminded you how many mistakes you've ever made and how many years you have wasted...

It's so easy to remember about everything that went wrong, but we seem to never pay attention to what goes well or what we are grateful for. What goes well is ''normal'' so we automatically focus on what goes wrong as it needs changing.

There is nothing worst than the feeling of guilt and shame just when you try to work on a very important project or goal. Thinking about your past failures takes the power of you completely. It reminds you about 100 different reasons why you will fail and why you shouldn't even start. The best way to fail...

Time to let go of your past! You definitely learnt something on your past, you definitely gained something. That's what you need to concentrate on: What did you learn? What wouldn't ever happened if you didn't make that mistake? Who you wouldn't met? How much better person are you now? How your life is better because of that?

You are not your mistakes! You are the person who develops and grows with experiences. When you were applying for your first job you were a different person than you are now. You cannot judge this person now, when you have completely different knowledge. Your personal values also change during your life. Quite often when we do something that is not in align with our personal values it is because our basic needs are not met. Hard to be fully happy if we are tired.

If you value contribution, it is impossible for you to be happy if you don't contribute at all! But... you may never fully discovered what it is that matters to you. You may have followed the society, your family, what seems ok for others... That kind of situations lead to making mistakes, getting divorced because something is missing, choosing the easy job instead of meaningful etc.

And watch out for your words! These are your experiences - not your mistakes or failures!

2. Live in align with your values

When we live in align with our personal values, we are at ease, we feel motivated, fulfilled and happy. The opposite emotions like frustration, anger, lack of motivation and procrastinating are the signs that something is wrong! We might be chasing the wrong goals! Another clue to look out for: are the values we hold are really ours or is it that the society says that it is important?

I used to always work very hard, make sure I am independent because I've seen how important it was for my dad. I borrowed his values, that's what we do when we are growing. And only since I discovered my own values, I am trully happy. I realized that to contribute, do something that matters is more important to me than climbing a corporate ladder and earning money.

Set your goals in align with your personal values and take one step at a time to move forward. It doesn't matter how fast you are going - it matters that you are moving into the right direction. Remember to break your goal down - otherwise your journey will be overwhelming and stressful.

3. Control your mind

You probably already noticed when your little voice is getting lauder. The next step after raising self awareness is to decide to take control. You have the power to be able to shift your mindset. When you start thinking negative, just acknowledge that and remind yourself that this thoughts are not serving you and it's time to change your focus. It's not about beating yourself up, it's about noticing how are you feeling and taking care of you. Then you can decide to think about something different instead, like what are you greatefu for, what did you manage to accomplish this week.. And the more time you spend on being grateful and celebrating your wins, the less time for negative tinking.

In every situation you can decide how you feel and how you react and it's up to you how you live your life. You can take every experience that isn't the most pleasurable as your biggest failure or as your greatest chance to challenge yourself and grow. If something unexpected happens to you - you can decide to react positively and use it to your advantage. The more you practise the easier it gets.

The inner work is necessary to be able to succeed and be happy. Without a positive mindset, we may not even notice that we already succeeded.

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© 2018 by Wioleta Wydrych